This Love Starts in The Bed
by SRplaya
Summary: Hijikata Toushirou and Shimura Tae wake up in bed together, with no garments, under the same white blanket. HijiTae
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**The title is from Kagura's/ her father's quote. "Sometimes love starts in the bed." And this story is inspired from watching the Scandal Arc (oh yeah, that was one funny arc!) Well, this is my first Gintama fanfiction. I am just glad that I got a change to write about one of my Gintama otp. I simply love HijiTae. So for those who don't like them, I suggest don't read, because this story is all about HijiTae! ;) Now then, for those who're interested in this story...I hope you enjoy reading.**

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**Chapter 1**

Hijikata Toushirou groaned as he rolled over to sleep on his back without opening his eyes. Absentmindedly, he pressed the palm of his hand on his forehead before rubbing them with his fingers, attempting to remedy his pain-pounding headache that had been going about disrupting his sleep. Just how much did he drank last night?

Well, good thing it was his day off.

Trying to get back to sleep, he turned on his side, gingerly pulling the covers over his head and it was then he felt himself brushed up against something soft. His movement and contact had caused that certain something or _someone_ to completely snuggled up against him. No, it wasn't just soft anymore, it was warm and he was in direct contact with whoever it was, as in no fabrics - no covers in between them.

Despite the fact that he was still in bed and hadn't gotten the chance to wash his mouth, much less to get a drink, his throat went from normal morning dry to exceed dehydration. It was as if a ball of thorns was stuck in his throat and he dare not open his eyes, for fear of what he would find.

Steadily with caution, he got his head out of the covers and took three deep breaths to calm his senses. _This is just a dream Toushirou, don't get your boxers in a knot_, he tried to convince himself. Overlooking the fact that he wasn't wearing any boxers at the time.

When he decided to finally open his eyes, he found himself staring at the low ceiling of the room. Unfamiliar and the light that was supposed to be hanging from the center was _not there_. Abruptly, he got up, seated on the bed with his feet still under the covers and carefully analyzed the room he was in.

It was definitely not his room.

There had never been a fancy television, or a full body length mirror right next to it, not to mention an exotic painting he had never seen before.

_Where the hell am I ?_

The head splitting ache was replaced by a major case of confusion. He shook his head vigorously, eyes shut tight, trying to get his head to clear up.

_Yes, I'm still dreaming. I'm still asleep and dreaming. _with that in thought, he slapped himself a couple of times.

But when he opened his eyes, his anxiety only escalated the moment he caught sight of his topless form through the mirror and he dare not look under the cover. The chilly feeling in between his legs, the kimono and underwear he wore last night along with a woman's kimono and her unmentionables were sprawled around the room; just served as sufficient proves of what he had done last night.

There was no mistake, he was completely naked and the woman who was sharing the same bed with him was no different, right under the god damn blanket.

_What on Earth happened last night?! _he tried to block out and deny the most obvious scenario.

He startled a little when he heard a soft and feminine moan came from the figure nestled under the thick blanket of covers and it was then he realized he was on a bed, an actual four-legged Western bed and not on a futon. The soft moan he heard was unmistakably belonged to a woman. Whoever she was, she was awake, and she would reveal herself in seconds. Toushirou was never a religious man, but at this point he was praying to every Gods and Goddesses out there, hoping it was not someone he knew.

Toushirou turned pale and had to stifle the urge to scream, as it seemed that even the divines had turned their backs against him. _This_, he could not imagine any sin he had done that could be compared to _this_. It was no better than murder.

Before him was the object of his Commander, Kondo Isao's affection and Yorozuya's Shimura Shinpachi's older sister. Naked, and has yet to take notice of his presence next to her.

Toushirou was paralyzed with fear and want nothing more than to run out screaming his lungs out of the room, for it was the nightmare of the century. Overlooking the fact that Shimura Tae was a beautiful woman, with long brown hair that looked as soft as silk, and skin almost as fair as the snow. In his mind, this woman was indeed beautiful yes, but also deadly as hell. She had monstrous strength that could pulverize even a bear, hell, even a horde of Chupacabras was no match for her. _And Hijikata Toushirou would soon be skinned alive and his meat, fed to the pigs the moment she opened her eyes._

Still not fully awake, Tae scanned around the room with half lidded eyes until her gaze met his. Three seconds later, she blinked.

"Hijikata-san?" her raspy voice still retained her usual gentle tone."What are you-"

Toushirou just stared at her face, for he had lost the ability to speak and couldn't even manage to gulp.

It took her a moment to take in, it seemed. She looked down at her naked self and back at Toushirou. Her eyes widened, looking like they almost popped out of their sockets and her face turned as red as a tomato. Hastily covered herself with the covers, assaulting Toushirou with her high pitched squeal.

It was unexpected. He had thought she would have broken every working bone in his body and had him hospitalized, but no, she actually acted like a proper-normal woman would.

"Wha-what is going on?!" Tae refused to look at him straight in the face, instead, she stared at the covers, her face still red with embarrassment.

Toushirou took a moment to regain his voice by swallowing what little saliva he had and cleared his throat. "What do you think?"

"We, did we…"

"I think so."

Silence.

Each of them was searching for something to say, and eventually, Tae was the first to speak. "Um, do you remember anything?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, the last thing I remember was; we had a drink together at the Snack Smile." How did they ended up drinking that much, he could barely remember. He was just happened to visit her; reason was because of none other than that gorilla Commander of his. '_Never again will I do his bidding!'_ Look at what he'd gotten himself into. "What about you?" he added in hope Tae could at least recall more than he did.

"Same here." She murmured under her breath.

It was silence all over again, until Toushirou turned his back on her. Tae averted her gaze as he got out of the bed and he told her to get dressed as he did so himself.

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Tae stared at herself in the mirror the moment he started getting dressed. There were bite marks all around her collarbones, her breast and she was afraid to look anywhere else. She could feel the slight pain in between her legs, a sign that she had lost her virginity to Hijikata Toushirou, the demonic Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi.

Tears started to swell in her eyes, biting on her lower lip, she stifled the urge to cry. She couldn't believe she had actually slept with a man she barely even know and to top it all, her first time was a drunken sex. She didn't even know if she should be glad that she couldn't remember any of it.

_So much for the perfect magical first time and waiting until after marriage._

Wiping away the remaining tears, she reminded herself to smile and look forward. There was no use in dwelling on something that had already happened and besides, the man she had her affair with was waiting for her behind the folding screen. He must have heard her sob.

"Otae-san."

"Yes?" she managed to answer in a wavering voice. Her hands tidying up the obi knot of her kimono.

"I'm sorry." There was sincerity in his deep manly voice.

She bit at her tongue.

"There's no need to apologize." She said as she appeared before him, with a smile on her face. "You are not the only one who's drunk. And I am sure you did not force yourself on me, because if you have-"

He quirked an eyebrow and managed a smirk. "I'd be a corpse by now?" Though it sounded like he was just teasing her, there was no doubt it was the truth. Tae would reconstruct a man's face for sexually harassing her, she couldn't care less if they were customers or friends, she would always make sure they pay for defiling a pure woman such as herself. Not that she was one now, after last night.

She took a seat right across the man that was known as the demonic Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi. There was no doubt she didn't resist this man's advance. She noticed a bite or two on his neck, what with him wearing his casual kimono with his neck fully exposed. Tae averted her attention to her lap with embarrassment. Looking at them had somehow triggered flashes of erotic flashbacks.

"You should cover those with something." She said, pointing at him.

Hijikata looked down, but couldn't see a thing. "Cover what?"

Tae, red in the face, gestured at her own neck to let him know what she was referring to. It was then he noticed the bite marks on Tae's neck and it struck him that he must have a couple on him too, since Tae was telling him to cover 'them' up. _Fuck me! How am I supposed to cover this?!_ He screamed inwardly as he scanned around the room for something, anything that can be served as a scarf. There was no was he's going back to the compound with these. No, he won't even step a foot out of this room before covering the marks. Because if he just walked out like this, the entire citizens living in Kabuki-cho would instantly be informed of his steamy rendezvous with a woman!

"Can I borrow your sword for a moment, Hijikata-san?"

"Huh?" He uttered, but soon realized her intention and lend her his sword.

The young woman stood from where she was seated and walked over to the bed they shared the night before, draw his katana and immediately sliced the bed along with everything on it.

Hijikata stood abruptly. "Oi! What the hell are you doing?!" He had thought she was going to cut the pillow covers but to actually cut them _along_ with the bed?!

Tae ignored him and continued to slice until she was satisfied. With a smile on her face, she took a piece of cloth torn from her actions and offered it to him. "Here, use this."

"Are you crazy?! If the owner of this hotel finds out, they'll make us pay for destroying their property!"

"Well, we can just tell them you are too strong and the bed broke." She said casually as if it was a laughing matter.

"I don't know if I should feel complimented or cry." He uttered incoherently and took the cloth she offered. Conveniently, it was long enough to cover his neck.

After they had properly secured their necks. Toushirou took the first chance to speak before Tae. "Listen, even if I don't deserve any woman in my life, I am still a man who is true to the Bushido codes. I will take responsibility of you because of what we did. Only if that's what you want, and I won't force you."

Tae was slightly taken aback by his words. Frankly, she didn't know what she wanted. "When you say _take responsibility_ you mean..." She needed to confirm, afraid of taking in the wrong idea of what he was referring to.

"Marry you. Like I said, I'll marry you if that's what you want." He told her with a serious look on his handsome features.

Tae felt her heart thud against her ribcage and she could not help but blushed. Every woman would do anything to have him as their husband. Handsome, have a stable job, strong and honorable... If you overlook his fetish for mayonnaise and addiction to nicotine, he's the perfect guy you want to have for a husband.

But.

Without love, can they truly be happy? A marriage, in Tae's vocabulary, is about a pair of couple who loves each other, well, the man also has to have a good income at least so she could rebuild her father's Dojo. Still, she had heard stories about Hijikata Toushirou and the woman he loved who passed away not too long ago. Was it not cruel to take away his chance of finding new love?

And what about herself? What would Shinpachi say and do if he found out about this? He overreacted when Kyuu-chan kissed her and destroyed a part of her house to save her from marrying her best friend, she could not imagine what would happen to Hijikata-san if-

"Otae-san, what do you think?"

Tae stared up to meet his gaze, only to look away and took a moment to think.

There was only one thing they should do.

She was sure it'd be best for the both of them.

"Let's just forget it ever happened."

Toushirou took a moment to take in. He had expected her to start talking about his income again, at least that's what he'd gathered from what happened a while ago, during the soul switched incident with that useless Yorozuya bum.

This woman was truly difficult to understand. She was always flashing that fake smile of hers, and she could pulverize someone in a blink of an eye with that same smile. There was no way he could figure out what she was thinking. Was she really okay with all this? He did heard her sob when he gave her some space to get dressed up. Did he heard wrong after all?

If she truly wished to forget, then so be it. It'd be for the better no? He could not deal with marriage, much less with the woman Kondou-san's love. Imagine the gorilla's reaction when and if he ever found out that his dear friend Toushi had slept with his beloved Otae-san. All hell would break loose. Frankly, this wasn't something he could just forget, in fact, this matter should have him commit seppuku!

Toushirou had been secretly freaking out from the inside ever since he realized the situation they woke up in. He managed to get a hold of a cigarette and light them with a shaky hand. He would not let anyone find out about this even if it'll cost him his life.

"If that's what you want, then fine." He finally said after he inhaled the nicotine that had managed to calm his nerves a little.

"Good. No one has to know about this. And I hope none of us acts weird when we see each other again." her voice did not betray her expression, she just smiled.

"R-Right back at you."

"Now that it's settled." She approached him closer and to his surprise, she adjusted the cloth around his neck with careful hands. "I'll leave first since I have a brother to take care of, and I think it'll be best if you stay behind for a short while."

Yes, her brother, Shimura Shinpachi, another problem to deal with if their secret ever exposed.

"So not to raise suspicion." Toushirou added after her.

Tae agreed with a nod. "Well then." she excuses herself with a courtesy bow of a hostess. "I'll take my leave." with that said, she made her way towards the exit and Toushirou watched her back until the door shut closed.

Although they ended their unfortunate incident peacefully, and the tension in his body had been lifted more than half the weight, a small part of him was worried. There's a fat chance and a weird feeling in his guts told him that this wasn't the end of their so called affair, that maybe, just maybe, what they did last night would come back to bite them in the ass. But he shrugged it away, thinking it was probably just the fear of being found out.

Yes, he'd best pretend that nothing even remotely sexual had happened between him and Shimura Tae.

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**Please do let me know what you think. I am open to constructive criticism, not flames ;) See you next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**Hello again! Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! I am glad there are people who are interested in HijiTae and not mind reading it. ****Well, here's chapter 2, featuring Shinpachi and Sougo. **

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**Chapter 2**

Tae was having the most tiring walk of her life, trying to remember what had gotten to herself last night.

Of all the people around her, she just had to end up in bed with Hijikata Toushirou. Well, actually, she couldn't complain there, he was in all actuality the best out of every stupid man hanging about her. Not to mention, almost all the girls in her work place were going fervid over him, saying things like they'd get in bed with him even if it's for free and whoever caught the cold heart of _the_ vice-chief of the Shinsengumi would be the Goddess among women, so that's a plus side to her situation.

Crap, now she had the urge to flaunt about it to the girls. It's not so bad was it? Who wouldn't want to be known as the woman who- On second thought, No, Shimura Tae is not some cheap young woman for she still had her pride. So exposing the loss of her virginity to no-matter-who-it-was, was absolutely out of the question.

Frankly, she was unsure if she had done the right thing by walking away from Hijikata's offer; to take her hand in marriage. It was sweet, and very responsible of him, but a woman could only be happy in life by marrying a man for love (and money, both are important) and not over some stupid one-night stand. But what could have triggered them to- she could not put a finger on what went wrong, but she was sure of it. Something was definitely wrong.

Considering the fact that -and Tae admitted- she could get (even more) violent and do crazy things during her drunken state of mind, she felt that there was more to all of this than just some accident caused by alcohol. But she got nothing over the top of her head. Just some flashes of drinking, kissing and ***-ing scenes, and from those memories, it seemed like she had it great last night. She remembered the passion, the urges, wants and needs- but of course, she didn't mention _that certain_ part of the night to Hijikata. Well, besides, it only came to her after a while and she honestly cannot recall any important details; like what happened before they went crazy and did _that_.

Anyway, there's no point in dwelling and she should put all that behind her. She's the master when it comes to masking her emotions, so she'd have no problem dealing with it and she'd just deny if the topic ever resurfaced. How hard could it be? The only other person who's involved was the demon vice-chief. Unless he spilled it from his end, they were safe, but that's unlikely.

As Tae arrived home, she heard her brother calling out to her in hysteria.

His voice came from the backyard, and she quickly went over to stop her brother from angering the neighbor with his loud voice early in the morning. He must have gotten panic when he couldn't find her anywhere in the house.

"Shin-chan, it's best to lower your voice. The neighbor will come over and complain if you continue."

"Big sis!" Shinpachi turned his searching gaze to her. "Where have you been?! I haven't seen you all morning and I just called Oryou san. She told me you got off work early last night and had gone home! You know how worried I am? I almost called Gin-san over to help me look for you."

Tae sighed warily. She had seen this coming, so she had prepared an explanation.

"Relax, Shin-chan, it's just eight in the morning. I was taking a walk around the neighborhood for morning exercise."

"You were?" She nodded with reassurance, but he stared at her rather skeptically before he adjusted his glasses as if to get a better look at her. "But, what's with that scarf?"

Figured he'd ask, a small smile graced her lips and she explained. "This is a gift from a little boy I met in the park."

"Um, no offense, but that's one ugly scarf." he pointed out. Obviously, since it came from the dirty bed cover Hijikata and herself shared together. Speaking of which, she's going to burn it to ashes after dealing with her little brother.

"The thought is what matters Shin-chan."

"I know, but to wear it under this hot weather..." he murmured under his breath."Well, anyway, it's good to know that you are not in trouble. Really sis, you had me right there."

Good, now he's finally dropping the scarf subject. She cannot imagine how her brother would react if he saw the red butterflies marking her neck.

"If I had known you'd have called an entire army to look for me, I'd have left a note."

"Well, I only called Oryou-san so-"

"But you almost did."

He let out a heavy breath. "Anyway, next time, make sure you leave a note."

"Of course." Truly, sometimes it's like Shinpachi was the elder sibling instead of her.

Whatever happened last night must be buried six feet under or thrown into the abyss if possible, or else Shinpachi would- well, more or less, he'd probably raise and command knights of hell to kill Hijikata-san.

"So, have you eaten your breakfast?" she questioned for a change of topic.

Shinpachi turned pale for fear of her Tamagoyaki.

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Pretending like nothing happened sounded too easy at the first, but the moment he stepped a foot outside the love motel, Toushirou instantly felt everyone were scrutinizing him, as if they had witnessed him murdering someone.

The further he walked, the more paranoid he got. Questioning himself whether anyone noticed the hickeys as he adjusted the cloth that was once a part of the bed cover and he hated to admit that he was actually scared out of his wits over his own paranoia that he jumped and yelped when a cat leaped down from the roof and even when a group of kids ran past him. Little did he knew that it was only his mind playing tricks with him and that the crowds were actually whispering to each other questioning his sanity.

It only got worse as he arrived at the Shinsengumi compound.

Before he walked past the gates, he tried to be careful and looked around for any sign of possible eyewitnesses that could've followed him all the way from the motel.

His subordinates were beyond perplexed by their Vice-Commander's odd behavior. Hijikata Toushirou had always been strict, sharp and ready to fight against any trouble, but now… He looks as if a ghost was chasing after him and he snapped at everyone who asked him if something was bothering him.

Careful to avoid his gorilla Commander, he sneaked amongst the bushes in the garden to get to his room. When he thought he was finally about to be released from the torture and fear of getting caught, the sound of unwelcome footsteps came from behind him.

"Where have you been Hijikata-san?" Okita Sougo's voice was loud and clear, as if he wanted the whole world to know he had caught the Vice-Commander sneaking around like a rat.

In slow and robotic motion, Toushirou turned his head around and surely, the other man he had been trying to avoid besides Kondo Isao, was there, staring at him rather skeptically.

"S-Sougo?! W-What are you doing?"

Toushirou swore inwardly, as a pair of hollow amber eyes were staring through his soul. "What are **_you_** doing, **_Hijikata-san_**?" Sougo repeated his name the second time that day, this time he was emphasizing it with a more dubious tone.

Taking down a huge gulp, Toushirou tried his best to avoid any eye contact with the sadist. "W-What am I doing you ask? Can't you see? I am about to go into my room."

Sougo narrowed his eyes. Though he did not say it, _'I don't believe you, scum.'_ was written all over his face.

"W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What's with that ugly scarf you are wearing?" he motioned his hand towards the white cloth circling around Toushirou's neck. "You do know we are in the middle of summer right?"

That's right, and the heat was killing him, but what other choice did he had? He'd rather die from the heat than let everyone he knew found out about the hickeys and his one-night stand.

"O-Of course I know, I just feel a little chilly in the neck, t-that's all." Toushirou sprouted his excuse without thinking; he did not have time to put into account that the man standing before him was the master of manipulation, because just a moment of hesitation would also get him to busted-ville.

"Oh really? Then where have you been?" he may appear to have changed the topic, but Toushirou knew this guy was still on the same topic, from the look he had on his face. "Strange, because, you're usually the first to wake up to train at the backyard like the idiot you are, yet I didn't see you at all, even at breakfast. Why is that?" he folded his arms across his chest."Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I didn't get to see your face and the smell of that disgusting mayonnaise for once."

How dare he bad mouthed his beloved mayonnaise! But it's not the time to be concerned about that.

"I-umm, I just went for a walk." He lied through his teeth, unaware of the fact that he looked like a child lying to his mom about how he'd done his homework but in truth he hadn't. But then he felt as if freezing water had showered him as he came to realize he hadn't been acting like one Vice-chief of the Shinsengumi at all."Ey-to hell with this! Why on Earth are you interrogating me?!"

Sougo shot him his oh-so-annoying knowing look. "You are hiding something, are you not, Hijikata?" he purposely left out the suffix for one obvious reason; he was sure of himself that Hijikata did something pretty bad and he's determined to find out.

When Toushirou flinched at the accusation, Sougo smirked triumphantly and Toushirou wanted nothing more than to punch the sadistic brat in the face. "I am not! What I do in my own time is none of your damn business. Now leave me alone! I am not in the mood to deal with your shenanigans."

"If I were you, I wouldn't be talking to me like that."

_That's it!_ Toushirou gripped on Sougo's collar and yelled in his face. "What are you blabbering about, huh? Stop questioning me like I'm some sort of a criminal and I am the senior here, not you! Can't you just leave me alone?!"

"No can do, sir." The sandy haired boy replied calmly with a straight face. "But according to your situation, I am at an advantage here, not you."

"And why the hell is that?"

"Uhmm, I don't know, something about umm- what was it again…" Sougo trailed off, clearly putting on a show just to piss-off the Vice-Commander. "Oh!" he raised his index finger. "Funny story, I was on patrol this morning and I saw someone who looks exactly like you going out of a love mo-hmmphhh!" his words were cut short by Toushirou's hand, now covering his mouth.

"Stop!" Toushirou hissed in a whispery voice. "How the hell did you find out, huh?"

Sougo shoved the older man's hands away. "I see. So you admit you are involved in a rodeo, riding on a woman last night in a love motel? Or is it a man?"

"**Wha- I'm the one asking the question here! How did you find out?!**"

Suddenly, the sadist stretched his lips to form a creepy smile that reached his eyes. "I didn't. You just admited that yourself."

Hijikata Toushirou was just tricked into admitting the greatest secret he had vowed to keep and forget. He felt humiliated. His face flared red with anger and veins popping on the surface of his face. "Why you-"

Seeing this as an opportunity, Sougo's hands went up to pull off Toushirou's 'scarf' and the boy whistled at the sight. "One, Two and three. Wow, you had a wild night didn't you?" he shook his head as he continued. "What a dog you are Hijikata-san, what a dog."

"Shit! Give me back-"

"You are such a retard Hijikata-san." Sougo grinned evilly. "I cannot believe you are so easily fooled. "

"You bastard! You'll pay for-"

"I suggest you don't say or do anything. Just listen to me like a loyal dog you are and maybe, just maybe… I might let you off."

"Oh? What are you planning to do? Tell everyone about this?" Toushirou tried to play it calm and cool, when in fact he was sweating profusely and ready to commit seppuku to his inner self. He was pretty damn sure he's on the highway to game over and screwed a thousand times. "Heh! They wouldn't believe you." he actually gulped after saying that.

"Try me, Hijikata-san." Sougo challenged him. "I have everything you said recorded, right here..." He pulled out his phone from his pocket, its screen was already alight and flipped open as was Toushirou's jaw, which had hit the ground at that very second.

Enjoying the fact that he had make the almighty Hijikata-san looking like a speechless fool, Sougo decided to capture the moment with his phone for the portfolio.

"You little shit! Give me GWOOHHH-" Toushirou failed attemps to snatch the phone from Sougo, landed himself a kick in the nuts and he knelt to the ground, crying in pain as he covered them with both of his hand, partly to make sure they did not fall off and partly to ease the stinging pain that had went to the entire nerves of his body.

Sougo stared down at him with a degrading look and evil aura seemed to be oozing out from him. "Listen here Hijikata-san, from today onwards you are my slave. Do as I told you and your secret is safe with me, if you defy me, or dare giving me a hard time, I'll make sure everyone in the Shinsen- nope, everyone in Kabuki-cho will found out about your little scandal." The minute he finished his warning, he turned on his heels and walked away.

If Toushirou could stand, he would ran to the nearest cliff and jump off. He just couldn't believe that he was being blackmailed by his own subordinate. Not that he didn't expected it from Sougo, but still… It was the worst thing that could ever happened. How can he live on being that bastard's slave all his life, knowing he owned his secret at the palm of his hand!

"Oh."

Toushirou looked up to find Sougo had stopped walking and the brat was staring at him over his shoulder, with a sly smile on his face.

"Go get me a yakisoba bread and the latest jump. Make sure you make the purchase at a high-class supermarket."

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**A/N: Please do let me know what you think ;) I am also open to suggestions. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**I am back ladies and gentlemen! And I have you to thank for all the wonderful reviews, just know that they have not gone unnoticed and your suggestions are taken into account, and just know that; I love y'all so much ;p. Most importantly, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I already know how I want the story to go, but I'm simply too busy to write and when I do get some time off I gotta do some other things, like polish my drawing skills or chat with my friend and family who are living so far from me. And geez, I have another stories to attend to…**

**Alright, enough babbling and on to the story.**

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**Chapter 3**

The Snack Smile was as crowded as ever, but Toushirou was in no position to complain for a chance was better than none. He needed to speak with Tae, and fast.

He'd waited almost a week for this gold opportunity; for the night had finally come when Kondo-san has to accompany the 'God of Destruction', a.k.a Matsudaira old man for a 'duty call' and for once he couldn't care less that neither he nor the other members of the Shinsengumi were involved, because as long as it prevented Kondo from stalking Shimura Shinpachi's sister for a night, he's content.

Whatever it was the case his superior were working on to discuss right now, Toushirou mentally noted that he would look into it later, but for now, more importantly-

"What are you doing here Hijikata-san?" the fake smile on her face was unchanging as ever as she poured him a glass of lemonade soda. _Wait a second-_

He understood that after what happened the last time he was here, a funky drink was probably the best choice in the house to keep him awake and sober, But- "Um, I'm not a fan of soda."

Without a word, Tae took a bottle of mayonnaise from under the table and spurted its content into Toushirou's cup of soda with gentle courtesy. "Sorry, I forgot the special topping."

"I wasn't referring to-" he trailed off, eyes lingering at what was supposedly the most disgusting drink ever served in Snack Smile, but it appeared as a genius masterpiece in the eyes of Toushirou. '_I wonder how it'll taste like with soda..' _he thought to himself, his face lightened up; handsome face replaced by his creepy-mayo-obsessed-face.

"Ara-You don't like it?"

In a blink of an eye, Toushirou gulped down the entire glass of mayo-soda before he put down the glass on the table and looked back at Tae, as if nothing had just happened. "So, you were saying?" and he burped, right before wiping the leftover mayonnaise around his lips.

Tae almost gag at the sight of him swallowing the entire drop of that 'blasphemous' drink like it's the most delicious thing on Earth and not to mention, the strong mayonnaise scent emanating from his mouth as he spoke… she could not help but hold her breath and wave a hand in front of her nose. That drink could easily put anyone other than Hijikata-san to a coma. But as a hostess, she had no choice but to pour him another glass and she cleared her throat as she did, ignoring the stench and returned to the original topic. "Is there something you wish to talk to me about?" She asked him and of course, acted as if she had completely no memories of- whatever it was happened last week. "Or are you just here to see my pretty face?" she finished with a blush.

Toushirou narrowed his eyes, _Seriously this woman has no shame._

"Well no…" Toushirou started rather nervously, for what he was about to say might anger her. "It had something to do with what happened last week."

"Did something happened?"

To say it was unexpected was _not completely_ true. He understood that it was necessary to act innocent and pretend it never happened, because that was what they had decided upon. Sure it was hard to erase the memories… but, nothing can compare to the nightmare he had experience (_and still experiencing, by the way_), which was to be an inferior being under Okita Sougo's command and his impious palm and whims. He'd had enough! There was no way he'd spent the rest of his life, forever playing the part of that sadist's slave, for he felt like he was on the lowest level of the status pyramid, under MADAO even.

"I know that we are not suppose to be talking about this, but I need help."

"I am not sure I understand what you are talking about Hijikata-san."

He had no choice but to resort to a more _direct_ way. "Sougo found out." Well, not entirely, but it was the only way to get her attention to discuss about the problem at hand. Well, it was _his_ problem for now, but it might turn into _their _problem sooner or later.

Tae stilled for a moment, but her face betrayed no emotion; just the usual smile and he ignored the bad feeling he got in the pit of his stomach and proceed to explain the situation directly.

"Like I said, Sougo-"

It earned him an _equally direct_ punch to his face before he could even finish and the next thing he knew, he was laying limp, body and face aching and half unconscious under the table.

"Otae-san! What are you doing to our customer!?" her boss yelled from the cashier, obviously panicked.

"Hijikata-han!" voices he assumed coming from the other hostess were buzzing in his ears and to his head. Their faces appeared from every corner of his blurred field of vision.

Oryou who was previously serving her customer next to Tae's booth asked, "Tae, what happened?"

"He tried to touch me, so I gave him what he deserved." Tae lied through her teeth, acting all embarrassed and angry, cupping both her hands to her cheeks.

"You are so mean Tae-chan…" one of her coworkers said and the others followed. "You should be happy Hiikata-han want to touch you."

Oryou rolled her eyes and added, "Somehow, I doubt that's what really happened."

Tae shrugged and with her own raw strength, she started dragging the half conscious Toushirou towards the exit.

"Where are you going with him?!" Her boss appeared before her, looking less frustrated than he was in despair, obviously because Tae had once again beaten his customer and broke his furniture. "Your shift isn't over yet-"

"I'm taking this guy to the police."

For a moment there, everyone was completely still and quiet; so quiet that if they weren't taking the moment to think and process what Tae had just said, they could hear the soft music playing at the background and the sound of Toushirou being dragged across the carpeted floor.

"But **_he is_** the police!" Oryou cried out when she finally realised, before Tae slammed the door behind them.

* * *

Visible angry veins surfaced from beneath her pale skin, usual sweet brown eyes were slanted to the point they looked like they belonged to a monster, nostrils flaring wide and wild, her hands pulled him forward by his kimono's collar. "I thought we agreed to forget we ever share a bed." Her voice was low, but intimidated. Toushirou didn't know what Kondo-san see in this monstrosity of a woman.

"I know that."

"Then why are you mentioning it in public!" it wasn't a question, but a statement and a fact, and Tae yelled those words in his face. "Are you that eager to get pummeled?"

Toushirou grimaced and leaned his head back slightly, to avoid the unnessary close contact. "Oh? And would you have agree to see me if I have suggested to meet you somewhere else, with just _the-two-of-us_?"

Eyes widened, shock written all over her face and he noticed a tinge of pink coloured her cheeks even in the dark alley they stood in. "I-" she began, but did not finish her words, instead she looked away and Toushirou decided that Tae was indeed speechless, even though that didn't explain the blush. Was this woman really embarrassed of being alone with him? and even at the mention of it? _Duh, who cares!_

Without warning, Toushirou took her hands that were gripping on his collar by the wrists and shove them away. "I thought so." he said, feeling a little victorious; believed that he was the first person to ever withstand her threat and scary look. _Someone needs to stand up to this woman, no matter how scary she is. _He smirked to himself.

A smack to his face came unexpectedly, on the same spot she had punched him just a couple of minutes ago.

"Hey-" Toushirou's yell was cut off; by what his eyes caught the moment he glared up at the woman who had assaulted him for the second time that evening. The first thing he noticed were her tear brimmed eyes, and then her lips, which were pressed together obviously holding in the urge to cry.

It was Toushirou's turn to be at a loss for words.

"Do you know how hard it was for me?" her tears started streaming down her cheeks as she spoke in a muffled voice, drop by drop, her tears fell on her kimono and when she looked down on her feet, drop by drop, they fell on the ground. "In everything I do to distract myself from the memories, and every time I look at my brother, I have this guilt, keeping everything from him, yet I cannot tell him the truth for fear he would hate me. I thought in time, I would eventually forget it ever happened… As long as I keep up with the façade."

Toushirou just stood there and watched her. There weren't many times he'd ever seen this woman so… vulnerable. At the mention of 'memories', he assumed she was talking about the erotic part of the night they shared together, because the same thing occurred to him. Gradually everything became clearer by the days, he was constantly reminded of the urgency he had to claim her and he would never admit this to anyone, but it did turned him on just a little. Just-a-little. And at the same time, it shamed him. She was after-all, the woman Kondo-san loved and Toushirou had taken her innocence behind his back.

"And here you are, the last man I wanted to see, showing up at my workplace and started talking about it as if it doesn't bother you and… that someone has found out." She sobbed.

A hand, offering a dark handkerchief appeared before her blurry sight, and she looked up to find that it was offered by the infamous 'demonic' vice commander, who was afraid of meeting her eyes and he mouthed rather faintly, "Here…"

It took a moment of bewilderment before Tae finally accepted his generosity, or was it pity, she couldn't tell. Nonetheless, she thought it was _sort of_ a sweet gesture, coming from Hijikata Toushirou.

"I apologize." Toushirou uttered guiltily, as he watched her delicately removed any trace of tears from her face with his handkerchief. "I thought you handled this better than I do and I admit, I-I was tricked by Sougo and feel very stupid about it, but he didn't know I was spending that night with you. I come to you because I need your help, he's-"

"Let me guess, he's been slaving you around?" her voice sounded less shaky than it did when she started crying.

When it comes to Sougo, everyone knew what he'd do to someone he blackmailed. "Yeah, and the bad news is, he's determined to find out _who_ I had _the affair_ with. He's already making my life a living hell, imagine what he'll do when he found out it was you."

"That brat!" Shimura Tae was instantly reverted back to her Sylvester Stallone mode and luckily; this time it was his handkerchief she crumpled in her bone-crushing grip instead of him.

"If it's difficult for you to handle, you don't have to- I was stupid enough to be fooled by that kid." Toushirou sighed before he continued, "But don't worry about it, I'll probably find some other way."

"Are you kidding?"

"Huh?"

"Someone needs to give that boy a lesson, even if the only way is through violence."

"Wait, before you say anything else. It doesn't involve murder… right?" He's a police and lord knows, there was no telling what this scary woman would do, as long as there'd be no corpse involved, he's game. He didn't mind if Tae planned to wrestle the boy or threatened him, but he doubt that was what she had in mind, especially when she declared, "Oh, don't worry. When I'm done with him, the only place he'll belong to is in the hospital…" she paused momentarily, a hand on her chin as she smirked evilly, "-or possibly in an asylum."

"Hmm, I like the idea of Sougo ended up in asylum." Toushirou felt the corner of his lips twitched up for the first time that week. "So what's the plan?"

"We are in an alley, let's find someplace more… private."

Toushirou quirked an eyebrow. "Where?"

"I know just the place." she turned her back to him and motioned for him to follow, "but before that, I need to wash my face. Your handkerchief reeks mayonnaise and I don't want to stay too long smelling like one and eventually puke on you... or anyone."

Of course, 'Mayora-sama' wasn't pleased. _Then why are you still holding onto my wonderful-smelling-hanker?! _But he did not question out loud, thinking she must have secretly love the smell.

* * *

**A/N:**

**_Yeah right Hijikata-san! Lol. Keep thinking that._ Do you guys realize how Hijikata keeps thinking that his mayonnaise is so great that everyone must like 'em? Of course you do! It's so obvious, damn… (especially in the Boss Cat arc. So funny btw…) **

**Okay,,, I hope you still like this story and will review to let me know what you think. Just please don't be mean. Hahaha… Thanks so much for reading, see you next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

**I'm sorry, it's been a while since I last updated. I want to thank those who have reviewed and followed this story, your encouragement have been very inspirational and I hope I'll keep making you (my dear readers) enjoy this story. **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Toushirou had never met a woman more devious than her. Not as if he'd ever met one. No. This woman, Shimura Tae was the queen of devils herself. Although… He had to admit; her plan on how to get back at Sougo was to say _the most brilliant _plan he had ever heard (Though at this point, he didn't really care as long as he got Sougo off his back.) Thus, he had agreed to it, even though it sort of- in a way- violated their bushido codes in so many ways, but to hell with it, because tonight he's not Hijikata Toushirou, he's not the demonic vice chief of Shinsengumi. He's none other than… _Agent Mayo_.

And that was what Tae had convinced him.

He kind of liked the code name she had chosen for him, thus, he did not complain, nor did he tried to pick his own, because he'd have picked that nonetheless. Not that he'd ever cared enough to give himself cheesy nicknames if he wasn't involved in _her-_ their- crazy yet mind-blowing plan, the one plan that he'd spent the last hour scheming with Shimura Tae, in that one room in her house he didn't even know existed.

Surely, not even Kondou-san had acknowledge the space even exists. It was some kind of a hidden room; one that existed beneath the storage room built somewhere around the corner of the backyard.

When Tae suggested they go to her house for the secret meeting, Toushirou was taken aback for a moment, reeling in the fact that she had in fact openly invited him to her home where her overprotective brother resided, probably just got back from work, from Yorozuya, more specifically 'do-nothing-all-day' odd jobs Gin-Chan. Not surprisingly, she mentioned they could use the secret passage into her house to avoid her brother.

It was as if the woman was living in a stronghold. He'd heard about the brazen amount of traps laid around the house; which his commander had fallen to victims on several times before and the gorilla wasn't the only victim.

Well he was glad, at least he had not been foolish enough to fall into one, and be one of the idiotic groups who had nearly killed themselves in that very dojo.

Toushirou sneezed when the cold night breeze caught up to him. Hiding behind a spider-invested bush in the middle of the night wasn't part of the plan, but it was the most strategic hiding place in site.

"_Are you alright Hijikata-san?"_ her voice was spoken in a low whisper. Granted, she was somewhere out there stalking Okita Sougo's movement, wherever he was, it was loud. From the walkie-talkie, Toushirou could hear the loud music and some men laughing as if they were drunk over their heads.

"I'm fine." he responded with a sniff.

"_Good, just don't be too loud because someone might hear you." _

"Fine, I'm just waiting for Yama- ehem- Mr. Average to finish the damn noodle." He was at the verge of forcing the entire bowl into Yamazaki's mouth. He hadn't really noticed before but- How could a guy possibly eat that slow?! The bastard took in every string of noodle carefully and chewed for at least twenty times for each mouthful as he was watching 'That Summer, The Wind Blows' drama on his television, crying as he did.

"_He's still at it? Geez, no wonder Yamazaki looks so small and frail for a guy working in law enforcement faction." _

He couldn't agree more, even though it was an embarrassment to their Shinsengumi.

"What's happening on your side?"

"_I got S into the Okama club."_

Toushirou quirked a brow, he hadn't heard anything about Okama club being involved anywhere in their big scheme. "Okama club? What-"

"_Actually…"_

"Wait a second, don't tell me you are-" he gritted his teeth and paused deliberately to let the woman who had made him squat in spider-ville for the last fifteen minutes tell him exactly why the plan had taken another turn. What he was doing right now, which by the way had earn him a lot of spider bites and his feet were probably swollen by now, was worth nothing and probably useless. How Tae had talked him into doing this in his own compound he couldn't even begin to fathom.

"_Um, well, we might not need Mr. Average anymore."_

"What on Earth- I just drop two dose of diarrhea pills into that noodle and risked my identity while doing it." He tried to suppress his voice as best he could. "And now, I think I may have caught a rash from the angry mobs of spiders biting me for invading their personal bush!"

"_Ugh, will you stop complaining? I didn't tell you because I've been quite busy here."_ She paused momentarily_."… and partly because I don't want to anger you?"_ she said it like it was a question, her voice was suddenly spoken in a tone as sweet as honey. _"So, I thought I'd just wait until I succeed here and __**then**__ tell you, and that way you wouldn't be so mad."_

"Well too bad I am **beyond** frustrated, woman!" She's afraid of him getting mad? Shimura Tae? She should take a look into the mirror more often. Who's afraid of whom getting mad? Maybe that's why he was squatting here like an idiot. To think, he had thought of her plan as brilliant. Well, damn it all. "I am risking my position as a vice commander! What're you thinking?!" he finished exasperatedly.

"_Will it make you feel better if I said I'm sorry and I'll cook you my special tamagoyaki once this is all over?"_ she offered in measured tone.

"No, thank you. Your apology is enough."

"_I'll add a desert for you, how about mayo-pudding?"_

Toushirou narrowed his eyes at the walkie-talkie before he finally cleared his throat and in total defeat he said, "Fine, just the mayo-pudding and your apology then and no tamagoyaki." He'd die first than eat any kind of dark matter.

"_Oh, don't be silly! The mayo-pudding comes in with the tamagoyaki." _

Again with the dreadful mention of tamagoyaki. "Whatever, I'm getting out of here, because at this point, even the afterlife is better than here." With haste and subtlety, he sneaked away from the bush. Completely ignoring the fact that Yamazaki had finally started to show signs of soon to come agonizing pain in his seat.

"_Then come here and make sure to bring a camera recorder with you."_

"Excuse me, and correct me if I'm mistaken, I thought you said you'll bring your own camera recorder. What the hell happened?" Toushirou asked incredulously, could this woman ever get anything right? Not only her cooking's a failure, even her wicked scheming is a failure.

"_Well, I did-no, I am, but actually, not anymore."_

"What- why is that?" he inquired skeptically as he finally got himself on the other side of the wall fence from a hole that had seemingly existed because of his commander's stalking behavior. He always had someone cover it up and it'd be a hole again the very next day. It wasn't the normal hole for mouse or rodents to crawl in and out, it was actually a hole made big enough for a person to go through. He was concerned at first, thinking someone, or most-likely a criminal had snuck into their hold at night, but when he spoke of it to Kondou-san and the older man pretends he didn't hear a word and changed the subject, Toushirou knew then who the 'criminal' was.

"_I-um…"_ Tae hesitated, and Toushirou swear she sounded almost embarrassed.

"You broke it didn't you."

"_I said and done no such thing."_

Toushirou almost smiled, he could bet on every yen he had that he was right. "Oh, I think you did. There's no reason to pretend you-"

"_W-why do I have to explain myself to you? Just bring the damn thing! We don't have time for this."_

"Alright fine!" Fortunately, he had his own cam-recorder with him the whole time, actually the only fortunate thing that had happened since the whole plan started, at least on his part. The spiders and Yamazaki were just bad luck. He was glad, he took precaution to bring an extra cam-recorder. "Tell me you know what you are doing there. What's the plan now?"

He could practically hear her shrugging from the other side of the walkie-talkie. _"Pretty much the same, I guess. I thought- what could be more embarrassing than when you found yourself one morning waking up naked in a bed with an okama? And the person you hate most and current slave –that would be you Hijikata-san, have a record of all that in a video and made copies of it too."_

The 'one morning waking up naked in bed' part all sounded too familiar to him, but it was a great plan nonetheless, one that doesn't include a constipated Yamazaki however. Even though a constipated Yamazaki would be as good. Imagine the amount of shit Sougo'll get under that bucket of- well, shit, literally and that'd be just the start, followed by Kamiyama's role, who was supposed to wake up naked with Sougo, but an okama-

"I figured, if we were to blackmail Sougo, might as well let my acquaintance; who is the willing and oblivious 'to our intention' party to take part, instead of the people you know well. You'll not believe how easy it is to get an okama all over Sougo, let alone the lot of them. They're shoving him sake. Lots and lots of sake."

Toushirou laughed in amusement as he made his way to his destination. She's right, the less they involve someone close to them the better. How she got Sougo into Saigo Tokumori's okama club, he didn't care. As long as they'd succeed by the end of the night, he's content.

He can't wait to see how it'd turn out, would this woman be able to outwit the sly Sougo? Toushirou was in fact, afraid the young man would see through the whole attempt. But he was not a pessimist, and hoped everything would work out.

Shimura Tae was truly one wicked, yet commendable woman. She could get Sougo to back down like a puppy frightened by the alpha she-wolf, that he was sure of.

* * *

**A/N: Do let me know if you enjoy this chapter. I know, Sougo can be difficult to trick since he's usually the one to trick and not the other way round. Our Hijikata-san may not be able to handle him, but what about Tae? Oh, and the drama Yamazaki's watching in this chapter is a reference to 'That Winter, The Wind Blows' a Korean drama (though I haven't watch it myself, mainly because I am not a fan of sad drama.). I decided to put that part in because I was reminded of the episode in the anime when Katsura goes to rent a drama (what was the title again?).**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

**Yes, I finally managed an update! I am still posting and alive because of your wonderful reviews, so thank you so much for your encouragement so far and as a reward, this author will be serving you with more HijiTae goodness in the chapters to come. I know no one's asking, but I also ship GinTsu and OkiKagu, so you can pretty much expect to see cameo appearance of these two pairings in the future and not to mention the appearance of many more characters of Gintama. **

**Happy reading ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

His steel blue eyes slowly fluttered open, his eyelids felt thick and heavy. His sight was slightly clouded and blinded by the bright white light assaulting his irises. Shaky hands rose to pressed on his eyes that were once again closed behind their lids and he groaned inwardly at the coarse feeling of his dry throat.

_What happened to me?_

He could hear the sound of loud beeping to his left he immediately recognized coming from a heart beat monitor and the smell of antiseptic intruded his nose.

_A hospital? _

He felt somewhat drowsy and he blinked a couple of times to adjust his eyesight. When he finally able to perceived the white ceiling above him, he took a moderate look about the environment he was in. There was no doubt that he was in a hospital.

_How did I end up here?_

"Oh, you are finally awake." A familiar voice rang gently in his ears.

Toushirou turned to find the source of the voice and caught sight of Shimura Tae in a blue kimono, holding onto two bags of groceries in her hands. She was smiling at him, instead of being reminded of her fake smile, this one was different, there was tenderness and behind it, he caught the impression of relief from her.

Leisurely getting himself to sit up, he scratched the back of his head and became aware of the lack of injury on his body. "Why am I here exactly?" he questioned, throat dry, not understanding how he'd just woke up one day in a hospital bed with Otae-san greeting him (of all people), instead of any member of the Shinsengumi.

_And all that sounded so familiar._

Of course it did, the last time he woke up with her, they were in the same bed, and that occurred in a motel, the only difference this time was the fact that they were fully clothed and they were in a hospital. If this happened again, he feared the next thing he knew he might be waking up beside her for the rest of his life.

_Calm yourself Toushirou. No way, that's going to happen._ After all, she declined his offer to take her hand in marriage.

Tae placed her groceries on the floor under the small table counter to the left side of his bed and poured him a cup of water from the kettle sitting on the very same table. "You caught a fever and were unconscious for two days."

"What? Two days and a fever?" he cried in disbelief, careful not to spill the water he was holding.

"Yep, I was about to beat you until you wake if you still won't wake up today." She told him so nonchalantly that the whole sentence just sent shiver down his spine.

"Is that supposed to cheer me up?! I'm not that desperate to get a beating just to wake up. I'll probably be even deader!" he retorted instantly. "So, what caused the fever?"

Her expression suddenly turned apologetic. "Well, the doctor said it was one of the spiders that bit you." She told him as her eyes averted to his feet; exhibiting patterns of ugly blistered red marks and that was when it came to him. He was with her; stalking Sougo as he recalled, when his head suddenly felt heavy, and there was a terrible cramp in his stomach he dismissed as insignificant abdominal pain and before long, he throwed up all the meal he had on that day.

"Sorry to have you go through that. Are you still nauseous? You were vomiting a lot before you passed out, are you hurting anywhere?" she inquired with concern.

"Nah, I'm fine just a little thirsty that's all." He said, before chugging down the glass of water in his hand.

"Here have more." She poured more water for him and the moment she filled the glass and placed the kettle back on the table (careful not to knock over the vase holding the flowers she bought him), she dug into the small red wallet he didn't noticed she carried with her and pulled out a transparent pack containing white pills. "Swallow one of these before your meal…" she stared at the round clock hanging on the wall before his bed, showing him the time of the day; 12:20 in the afternoon. "Your lunch should be here any minute now." She pointed out, "I'll go get the doctor to check on you." With that said, she walked out of his room and left him staring at her departing form flabbergasted.

It was so surreal. Having her of all people worrying about him like that. Never, since he met Shimura Tae that he'd imagine her taking care of him like this. Now, he was left to himself with a list of questions running through his head. Guess he could understand why she was feeling guilty; she was in-fact one of the main reasons he caught spiders bites. Speaking of spiders… _I'll have to burn that bush the moment I return to the compound_, he mentally noted.

But, one thing for sure, he'd have expected Kondo san to appear out of nowhere right about now.

Toushirou pulled out the infused needle from his arm and got out from his bed; checked under the bed, inside the closet, outside the window, outside his room, on the ceiling and even inside the microwave. None, the gorilla was nowhere to be found.

Where's that gorilla commander now? He was supposed to be Shimura Tae's stalker. He'd always revealed himself either when she's still in the room or after she left the room.

Toushirou had expected the stalker to at least showed up for a visit just because he's worried about his vice-chief's condition, but seriously, not having even one Shinsengumi members came to see him when he'd been away for 2 days was just too much (Toushirou assumed this; from the lack of flowers -aside from Tae's- by his bedside and the fact that none of the Shinsengumi were there to tend him or even keep an eye of his safety from the outside of his room). Even though he must say, he shouldn't complain either. They were probably busy doing their assigned duty. _Yes, that must be it…_

But who the hell was he kidding? Without him being there to start the day, there was no one to assign them anything! Even the Commander will slack off without the demon vice-chief to control them and give order.

He wondered where Kondou-san could be right now, if he's not here stalking Otae-san, then he's probably busy with work- or he's just laying unconscious somewhere, maybe even turned into his animal spirit form of 'gorilla' again and fool around somewhere in the forest of Edo.

Well, he'll just have to return to the compound as soon as the doctor gave him a check-up.

He returned to his bed and sat on the side before digging into one of the groceries bag Otae brought. _What the?_ _Bargain Dash? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… Are these hers? _

A knock on the door caught his attention, and to his disappointment, instead of the doctor, it's just a rotund-roughly-fifty-year-old nurse with a big mole on one side of her lip, holding a tray of what's supposed to be his lunch.

"Well, Mr. Hijikata, heard from your wife you are finally awake. Now sit up straight and have your lunch." The nurse's voice was rough and from the way she spoke, she sounded like a strict lady.

"Wife?" he mouthed incredulously. "What wife?"

The nurse sighed melodramatically as she pulled out the tray from the side of the bed and placed Toushirou's lunch on it. "Yes, the pretty brunette. She's the one who's been taking care of you for the last two days. Hey, don't tell me you have memory loss or something." She accused him and shook her head, shooting him a degrading look, "Tsk-tsk-tsk, you men, always ungrateful to your women. I have seen this scenario many times. Pretend you lost your memory and then leave your wife to be with another woman. I am disgusted."

"**HAAA?** What on Earth are you talking about, you old lady?!" This nurse clearly watched too much drama or something. She wasn't even making any sense.

"How rude! Youngsters these days have no respect to the elders, especially you men!"

"Wait a second, you accused me of something I didn't even do! And since when do I have a wife? Have your head check or something you nutty old bat!"

"Ah, I see the patient is in good shape." The first male voice he'd heard since he woke came from the man he assumed was the doctor who appeared with Otae by his side. They stepped into the room and Tae shut the door closed behind them.

The doctor sighed as he adjusted his glasses, "Nurse Yamamura, you need to stop picking fights with male patients or you may get fired." he warned the nurse in a sluggish voice that so reminded Toushirou of the idiot Sakata.

"But someone needs to teach him how to respect women and elder!"

The doctor casually raised his hand. "Hai, hai, I will do that for you. Now, can you go on with your job? The other patients are waiting for their lunch."

The nurse huffed like a baboon before she headed out of the room.

"Geez, that lady needs to calm down." The doctor commented the moment he made sure the nurse was out of hearing range.

"I second that." Toushirou agreed with a nod. "Now, can you proceed with the checkup so I can get the hell out of here?"

"What's the hurry? You have your lovely wife here to care for you." The doctor said as if it's the greatest thing every man could ever ask for. " I'd stay here forever if I were you. It's every man's dream to be spoiled by their wife when they are sick. If you know what I mean..." the doctor winked at his patient.

Toushirou's face unceremoniously went red at the thought "Seriously?! What the hell is wrong with everyone in this hospital!" he retorted in utter bewilderment.

Tae raised one of her hands to cupped one side of her cheek "Oh my, I am not his wife doctor." She responded shyly.

"Why the hell are you getting shy for?! Why have your face turned red in the face?" Toushirou pointed out apprehensively.

"Oh? That's too bad then. I thought you two look like a good couple, and you're taking such good care of him anyway." The doctor remarked before he turned his gaze on his male patient, "Hijikata Toushirou-san if I were you, I'd have take her as my wife." he gave Toushirou a thumb up.

Tae pushed the doctor so hard he crashed on the wall and fell. "Kyaa, doctor you are making me blush!" To Toushirou's surprise the doctor get back on his feet with remarkable ease, as if he was used to that kind of treatment.

"I'm merely stating the truth." Toushirou could see the red thick liquid flowing from the doctor's head as he shifted his glasses.

"To hell with that! Are you a love counselor or a doctor?! I thought you're here to give me a check up! That aside, **are you really okay** with that much blood flowing from your head?!"

"Don't worry, I'm used to this." The doctor answered reassuringly. "She's just like my wife." a hand rubbing his chin as if contemplating the likeness between Tae and his wife.

Toushirou sighed wearily. "Well, that explains it… Now give me the damn check up or I'll go call another doctor!"

* * *

"You are leaving so soon? At least have your lunch before you go." Tae suggested, watching Toushirou as he was getting out of bed. She was glad when the doctor said he's fine and allowed him to go home if he wanted to, else she'd have force him to stay put.

"Nah, without mayonnaise, the hospital's food may as well taste bland," said Toushirou, narrowing his eyes at his supposed lunch; a bowl of Okayu (a Japanese rice porridge) with a small bowl of vegetables as side dish. "I just don't have the appetite."

"Oh, but I've got your mayonnaise right here." Tae proceed to grab one of her grocery bags on the floor and took out a brand new, plastic-protected yellow mayonnaise bottle.

Tae smiled when she saw Toushirou's face lit up, and he didn't waste a moment to quickly snatched his precious mayonnaise from her hand. "Wow, thanks. I didn't expect this!" he said, and started peeling off the plastic covering of the yellow bottle, saliva pouring down like a waterfall from his mouth.

_It's cute that even the strict demonic vice-chief of the Shinsengumi can act so childlike. _Tae thought to herself.

"You are welcome. Don't forget your medicine." she added before Toushirou could start suckling on his new bottle of mayonnaise.

As the vice-chief began feasting on his lunch, Tae sat on a chair by his bed side, enjoying the taste of her Bargain Dash and tried her best to ignore the revolting sight of Toushirou's mayonnaise on Okayu he called 'Hijikata Special'. She had to wonder if it's okay for a person who's been hospitalized with high fever to even eat that outrageous amount of mayonnaise. When she went out to the groceries store in search for her Bargain Dash, she accidentally caught sight of the mayonnaise and it just instantly reminded her of the poor hospitalized vice-chief. Maybe it was guilt that had subjected her to buy that for him.

At least he's happy. Well, she better cook him that tamagoyaki she promised.

"So, I've been wondering…" he started in between bites, "What happened to Sougo?"

"Ah, him? I ended up beating him so hard until he's unconscious."

"You what?!" he startled, almost chocked on his food.

"He's right here in the hospital, but don't worry, he's staying in another ward and he's still unconscious."

"What on earth did you do to him?! More importantly, you are beating a police officer now? I can have you arrested you know."

"No, you wont, it's for your own good." She smiled eerily, "actually, for us both."

Toushirou flinched in his seat, "How the hell is beating my subordinate for our own good? Does he know it was you who-" he paused waiting for her explanation.

"Don't worry, I wore a mask when I tortured him and he agreed to let you off from being his slave. And I deleted the recordings you told me about, by breaking his phone to tiny miniscule pieces."

He gaped at her in astonishment; "Y-You did?" she nodded, but he still looked unconvinced, and he went on. "You sure you wore a mask? It didn't fell off or anything right? If he heard your voice then he must know who you are! He really has no idea it was you, right? He has no idea right? If he knows then it's over! You don't know how dangerous that kid is. He's going to get me good if he found out!" Tae didn't know when it happened exactly, but all of a sudden Toushirou's face came so close to hers that she could smell his foul mayonnaise breath on her face and his hands were on her shoulders, shaking her until her Bargain Dash fell on her lap, dirtying her kimono, not just any kimono, her _brand new_ butterfly patterned kimono.

An angry vein surfaced from under her skin, there was an irritated twitch at the side of her smiling lips. "_Hi-ji-ka-ta_-san." She enunciated the syllables of his name carefully, crackling her fingers one by one as she did.

"Eh?"

Before he could even apologize, Toushirou was rewarded with a Rocket Punch in the face.

"I was going to wear this kimono to work you idiot!" she roared like a raging lioness.

And so, Hijikata-san remained at the hospital yet another day.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I just love Hijikata even more whenever he's freaking out. The scene when Hijikata's shaking Tae's shoulder is partly an inspiration from the time he scares everyone with his scary -'There's not enough Mayonaise!'face- scene during the ghost in Shinsengumi compound episode/chapter in the anime/manga. **

**Let me know your thoughts on this chapter by dropping a review. Thanks so much for taking the time reading.**


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